National Weirdo Coming-Out Day

I hate Halloween. Love dressing up for various occasions, dances, or costume parties- just hate Halloween and I don't really have one all-encompassing reason.

For starters: WHY do people think it is cool do decorate their yards with icky fake spider webs, waxy figurines of Frankenstein or the Grim Reaper, coffins, body parts, headstones and strobe lights? Not to mention the horrible blow ups of spiders, black cats, witches, pumpkins, and ghosts drifting out of cauldrons. Sure there may be one or two tastefully decorated yards with cornstalks and pumpkins, but I would classify those with a harvest theme; harvest.

Second, I have never really been a fan of the blood, guts, and gore. Why are people fascinated with the sick, twisted things that one can do with the human body? Two words: Gross and Gross.

Third, is the world really so scary that parents must succumb to the annual trunk-or-treat in the church parking lot? Little wonder why our kids are so overweight, at least I had to run from door to door to get my candy (I think one year I actually "bladed" from door to door). And if a bully took your pillowcase-full, that was your own fault for being dumb enough to let him. And let's face it, only about 25% of your spoils were edible anyway. What I want to know is who eats those life-size gummy eyeballs? I guess more important, who buys them?

Fourth, Halloween is just one big excuse for all of the little weirdoes inside people to manifest themselves. The official title of October 31st should be changed to "National Weirdo Coming-Out Day." Sure, I chuckled at a few of the costumes I saw today such as the cowardly lion, a pizza delivery girl, and a smarty pants (literally smarties all over her pants). But these were full-grown adults that needed a little something to spice up the nine to five. Other absurd costumes I witnessed actually roaming the sidewalks of campus. I'm sorry, but I am just creeped out by the full-blown Frankenstein waiting at the bus stop. Another girl, dressed as a bum was standing under a tree with a sign that read, "Will date for food". Funny or pathetic? I'll let you decide. For some, it is a chance to indulge deep desires that may never come true, or at least avoid using any creativity. I can't put it better than a friend who said, "Halloween is a time for boys to dress like girls, and girls to dress like slutty girls."

In summary, Halloween is one day a year that everyone uses as an excuse to be weird. Maybe it is the only day that they feel like they can get away with it. Maybe it is their only escape from the harsh reality of day-to-day life, or a desperate cry for attention. Or maybe they just wish they attended Hogwarts instead of Utah State. Whatever the reason, like most holidays, Halloween has been twisted, poked, stuffed, and commercialized until it is almost no fun anymore. But tomorrow, it will be over, and I can almost smell the turkey. Thanksgiving. Now that is a holiday worth talking about.